Did you know that a human can experience around 34,000 emotions? With such a big number, it’s not a surprise that we could easily get lost when we navigate the turbulent waters of feelings. 

Transitions can be a clear example of a series of emotional challenges bringing about multiple blockages that could prevent us from getting to a place that we can call home.

It’s very typical to go through different emotional states, sometimes even on the same day. We could experience denial, anxiety, shock, confusion, resignation, anger, impatience, especially if we are at the very beginning of our journey. 

Let’s consider one of the areas of our life, work. Work fulfills two key functions for subjective well-being: it provides a social institution which fulfills basic psychological needs such as time structure, social contacts, a purpose, status and regular activity. It also provides a source of personal identity and meaning. 

It’s not surprising why career transitions, particularly when it’s the result of a change forced upon us, can affect our self-worth, causing us to feel stressed and depressed. It feels like our whole world has completely shattered. 

The emotional impact of a job loss can mirror the stages of grief that people experience with a major loss such as a bereavement. The psychiatrist Kubler Ross defines the stages as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. These stages can replace each other or exist side by side at times. 

Career and life transitions can reflect these stages, which is why it’s important to know that experiencing feelings of despair, anger, hostility, social isolation, loss of control, to name a few, is normal. 

When we face a major change internally – which is really what transitions are about – quite often at the beginning, there’s a “disease of meaning”. A crisis enters our lives and we start asking more questions about the role we play in the world. 

If we find ourselves in this place where we feel confused and disoriented, it’s helpful to take time and reflect on the emotions we are experiencing. The more we go specific about what’s going on emotionally, the better we can address certain challenges that otherwise stay unsolved because we haven’t yet been able to attain what lies behind. This is often why we tend to direct our energy to the wrong place, leading us to feel more frustrated and confused.

Identifying the primary emotions and acting accordingly can be very useful for moments of intense feeling and when our mind cannot remain objective as it operates from an impulsive flight or fight response.

Researchers have studied that emotions can influence in 5 main ways:

– Emotion Component. This is where we simply experience the feelings. It’s about observing the internal universe and recognising what is being experienced at that time.

– Action Tendency Component. Once the emotion is identified, the body moves into action. Emotions trigger certain actions instead of others. They can also cause us not to act. Some of these actions are beyond our control; others are within our control.

– Appraisal Component. When we cognitively analyze the emotion, we are able to identify situations, actions, environments or people that are causing the emotion.

– Motor Component. It’s about how we express what we are experiencing (facial expression, body movements, hand gesture, etc.).

– Physiological Component. It’s about the chemical reaction that our body experiences. 

This array of emotions is more exacerbated for those of us who are not yet able to articulate what we want to do next or what we want our life to look like. 

There’s a huge body of research showing that naming our emotions is really a game-changing skill that reduces negative feelings like anger or frustration have over us. When we specifically name our emotions, we become more in control of the appropriate response to them (feeling anger is very different from feeling disappointment). The more specific we go about our inner experience, the better we are able to create a plan. 

Expanding our vocabulary around emotions while going through transitions can help us move away from a passive place where “things happen to us” and walk towards a more proactive place where we own our emotions, we are aware of the message those emotions are trying to communicate to us, and we can build a more effective response strategy. We can abandon the victim mindset and embrace the ownership mindset.

We start controlling where we are in the universe of emotions, we can zoom in and gradually navigate to a more constructive part of the universe by exploring more helpful emotions. We can  gain clarity and guidance towards solutions, rather than a fixation on the problems that caused the dilemma or intense feelings.

Take a deep breath and learn to attend to your emotions. Give yourself the permission to be ok with not knowing. The moment you tell yourself that you don’t need an answer right now about where you’re heading to and what is going to look like when you have reached the other side of the process, you are slowly training your limbic system to be less in control, allowing yourself on a subconscious level to engage in solution-focused behaviours. 

Write down the emotion you are feeling and ask yourself the following questions:

Where does your emotion come from? 

When does it show up? 

How does it make you feel? 

What behaviours does it trigger? 

What actions does it not trigger? 

What do you need now to help you cope with your pain?

How could you move towards a more helpful emotion?

Navigating a major career or life change is not easy. We haven’t been taught at school the skills we need to master our transitions. The truth is going through this process by unlearning what has stopped serving us and learning to retell our story will help us rediscover the great skills we already possess  and learn new skills to find a new meaning and purpose.


Self-Compassionate Awareness

Self-compassion is a concept that comes from Buddhism. Self-compassion has existed in eastern culture for many years, but in the last 10 years, the concept of self-compassion has started to take place in the field of psychology in western culture. According to Western philosophy, showing compassion is often a motivation to help others through their suffering. According to Eastern philosophy, to be understanding and compassionate towards others, they must first be compassionate towards themselves. Compassion is a feeling of psychological well-being that is shown not only to the suffering of others but also to the suffering of the individual. To understand the concept of self-compassion, first, it is necessary to know what the concept of “compassion” means.

A person who can show compassion to others recognizes the pain of another and carries with him the desire to alleviate the pain. Compassion, instead of criticizing or judging a person who is wrong or unsuccessful; considers faulty human behaviors as natural processes that can happen to all people. Compassion is the desire to be understanding towards the mistakes of others, to understand the pain of others, and to relieve the pain of others; Self-compassion also includes similar behaviors that the individual shows towards himself in cases of failure and inadequacy.

People have experienced painful negative events many times in their lives. As Buddha stated 2500 years ago, all individuals suffer one or more times in their lives. The healthy approaches of individuals against negative experiences, failures, and painful events are among the important issues that positive psychology is interested in today. In this context, in addition to concepts such as “self-esteem” and “self-efficacy”, which can be defined as healthy approaches in positive psychology, the concept of “self-compassion” has entered the literature.

No one can save you but yourself. Be the light yourself. Buddha

Components of Self Compassion


When we are in a difficult situation, when we are in pain, we constantly criticize ourselves. Why me? The reason why it hurts is my fault? I’ve never been able to do it anyway!! How cruel are we to ourselves? Let’s switch roles; Have a friend in pain or in a difficult situation? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be even more successful next time! Please don’t suffer, because if it wasn’t for this situation, you wouldn’t have had such an experience. We take a lot of positive approaches like these. How cruel we can be when it comes to ourselves. Here Self Compassion is our kind approach to ourselves. Self-Compassion is accepting the situation as it is when we make a mistake. It allows us to be ready for change, be patient, and motivate ourselves positively without criticizing ourselves.

Awareness of Sharing (Common Stakeholder)

To be part of a whole. Anyone can make mistakes, and everyone can fail, it’s all about accepting the notions of part of life. People who understand my common stakeholder see the problems they encounter as a natural part of their life, instead of isolating themselves from other people. The individual who experiences negative emotions becomes aware that when his intense emotions subside, everything is not “because of me” or “my fault”, it is due to some universal reasons, that feeling sad, and suffering can be felt by all people.

Millions of people live in the universe, and everyone has their own positive or negative experiences. We are never alone.


Awareness and Self Compassion are interrelated. Mindfulness is about making direct contact with our present experiences by accepting them and without judgment. Living in the past or the future, and missing the present is a mistake many of us make. We are happy when we sit in front of a beautiful view. But when we look at this view and think about what will happen the next day or what happened last week, happiness disappears. Sometimes we become prisoners of our thoughts and emotions. Thoughts run through our minds even if we don’t want them to. Now we have become our thoughts. They begin to rule us.

Sometimes we act with the judgments we create in our minds, not what is going on around us and inside us. We analyze everything, we try to interpret it. We look with our brains, not with our eyes. This intense effort to make sense of it causes us not to feel what is going on.

People with high awareness levels become aware of their problems in negative life events, instead of focusing too much on the problem situation. This process helps the person to understand himself by preventing him from making negative judgments. In short, Awareness can be described as a mental state obtained through observing one’s thoughts, feelings, and body to answer the question “What am I living through right now”.

People with low awareness become integrated with their pain. This situation is called identification with pain. When the person is too caught up in the pain he experienced, he falls into the traps of negative feelings and thoughts about himself. Since the mind of the individual is full of these negative emotions, feelings of self-compassion can also be inhibited.

You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. Jon Kabat-Zinn

On the Self-Compassionate Approach

Studies have shown that self-compassionate individuals get more satisfaction from life and self-compassion undertakes a preventive task against negative emotional states such as depression, anxiety, and stress.

Bad things can happen to any of us. None of us may have all-around success. The important thing is to get up with our self-respect, with the same respect every time we fall, and return to that struggle for life with our awareness. Self-Compassion is a journey that can be developed. You must continue your journey by increasing your positive attitude every day.

Author: Merve Yalım Toprakhisar

For a preliminary interview or more information, please visit her website:

Please also find her at Coachsea:


Welcome to the first of my blog series on NLP, Life Coaching, Career Coaching, Personal Image Coaching, Self Awareness and Self-compassion.

I’m Merve and in this blog, I want to tell you what is NLP.

How can I be more successful, how do I get rid of my traumas, how can I balance my inner world or how can I control my emotions in my life? Every day, thousands of people ask themselves this question and conduct research. One of the results of these studies is Neuro Linguistic Programming.

This blog will give you the answers to all the questions you have in mind about NLP. If you are ready, let’s start with the story of NLP first.

“NLP is an attitude and methodology that leaves traces of certain techniques.” Richard Bandler

“NLP is a fast learning strategy designed to explore and exploit successful patterns of thought and action in the world.” John Grinder

Definition of NLP

In the words of Richard Bandler, “One of the things NLP stands for is that it offers a perspective on human learning ability. It is more correct to call NLP an educational process, although in them the Psychologist and Social Worker interpret NLP as a “therapy”. After all, the main function of NLPers is to develop ways to teach people to use their own brains.”

Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP for short, is a field of study that examines thinking, language and behavior processes and teaches how to use them most effectively to reach goals. NLP is a method that allows you to explore and recreate the excellence you need to achieve the results you’ve always wanted.

NLP is a behavior; sees life as a rare learning opportunity.

NLP is a method; It starts with the proposition that every behavior has a structure. This structure can be learned, modified and modeled.

NLP is the art of change. NLP is the brain’s manual. NLP is the technology of success.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) has been called the “art and science of personal excellence”, “subjective experience research”. NLP helps us understand the difference between our actions that produce mediocre results or failure, and those that require success or excellence. NLP, “How do I do something I do well?”, “How can I do it better?”, “How can I gain skills that I admire in others? “It addresses questions such as: It is important that NLP is not limited to observable behavior. It also includes the mental processes that control the way we think, that is, all our experiences and actions. It deals with the whole structure of human experience (actually, motivation) and tries to shape the thought processes, emotions and beliefs that result in a behavior. In particular, it concerns our communication with ourselves as well as with others.

“Curiosity is the first and last emotion in high and generous minds.” Samuel Johnson

NLP’s Development Process and Story

NLP was developed by John Grinder, a linguist, and Richard Bandler, a mathematician, at the University of California in the early 1970s. These two researchers, working on the effect of language on individuals and its effect on their behavior, and using their expertise in linguistics and psychology, combined the advanced communication model, which they called Neuro Linguistic Programming, with advanced computer technology.

The concept of NLP was developed by psychotherapists explaining how change can actually be made. The method of how the harmony of the first results obtained in the studies was developed, how it answered the related questions (meta model), how useful resources were used in appropriate conditions, It was about how the change perspective is and how it is used in different thinking styles (virtual control), how it is used in motor, digital and hypnotic language models (Milton Model). Later on, most of the models in different fields such as cognitive science and support psychology, which is a collection of models and tools used in the field of communication and behavioral change, contributed to the development of NLP.

NLP Fundamentals

  1. You: Your emotional state and skill level
  2. Assumptions: Principles of NLP
  3. Harmony: The quality of relationships
  4. Conclusion: Knowing what you want
  5. Feedback: How do you know if you are really getting what you want?
  6. Flexibility: If what you’re doing isn’t working for you now, do something else!

“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.” William Arthur Ward

What Purposes of NLP

  • Communication
  • Inner experience
  • The effects of language
  • Forming superior behavior
  • How we use our brain The scope of NLP as a behavioral science includes the following (Alder, 2004:24);
  • An information system-epistemology
  • Methods and processes-methodology for the application of knowledge and values
  • Tools-technology necessary to apply knowledge and values

NLP should not be presented as pure technology by purging it from its holism and spirituality. In fact, NLP provides a framework for focusing on personal belief, mission, and vision and understanding the individual as a member of larger systems (family, community, universe) and not just on an individual basis. NLP is a method of focusing on details while maintaining a holistic perspective. Individual self-change is a tool that makes it possible to be yourself and maximizes internal communication. Everyone wants to use their talents, potential power. The aim is for the individual to be the best version of himself (NLP World, 2006)

One of the main goals of NLP is to understand how mastery learning takes place and how new knowledge interacts with previously existing knowledge.

The human brain tries to decode the three elements using filters. These are generalization, shift of meaning and loss of meaning. In other words, it seeks to understand how images, sounds, and feelings become experiences, feelings, beliefs, insights, and ‘truth’—the things that sustain a person

“Thinking is a human trait.” Noam Chomsky

What is the NLP Benefit?

• It allows you to overcome limiting thoughts.
• It accelerates your learning process. Thus, beyond keeping up with the changes, you will have the knowledge that will enable you to create change and find the appropriate management style for your field of interest and work.
• Helps you gain clarity about your purpose and values
• Allows you to gain more self-confidence
• Helps you manage difficult people as a character
• Helps you develop new strategies to solve problems
• Allows the strengthening of leadership abilities
• Allows you to break behavioral patterns
• Improves your coaching skills

“NLP helps you program your ideas, which may or may not be acceptable, by enhancing the language we speak, shaping the way we understand with our senses. It supports you in the creation of new behavioral options that overcome the fears, habits and similar factors that limit you and support you in line with your goals.”

Merve Yalım Toprakhisar

For a preliminary interview or for more information, please visit my website:

Please also find me at Coachsea:


COVID-19 can affect anyone, and the complaint can cause symptoms ranging from mild to very severe.Data shows that numerous of those who develop severe complications after contracting it have pre-existing health conditions.

In fact, almost 90% of adult cases rehabilitated with COVID-19 in the U.S. had one or more primary conditions, according to a CDC report. These findings suggest people with threat factors may be more likely to need hospitalization or intensive care if they have COVID-19, or they may be more likely to die of the infection. With the clear correlation between health and response to the COVID-19 outbreak, it’s now more important than ever to address your workforce’s threat factors to improve health outcomes in any situation that arises, whether it be a pandemic, an individual health issues or an accident, or whatever else impacts your members’ health.

Health coaching is effective for people managing a variety of health conditions. According to a study conducted by the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, regular physical activity, correct nutrition, tobacco cession, and a many other common life interventions can help alleviate the progression of numerous habitual conditions and, in certain cases, even reverse existing disease.

Health coaching can affect t in advancements in multiple biometric threat factors, including blood pressure, cholesterol, and body weight. Studies also show that health coaching can improve health-related quality of life and affect in decreased sanitarium admissions.




Clinical Effectiveness of Lifestyle Health Coaching https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1559827615592351


The findings came out from the International Coaching Federation 2022 Global Consumer Awareness Study

Lexington, Kentucky, USA (February 1, 2022) — Millennials are the generation most likely to be apprehensive of guiding and most likely to have shared in a coaching relationship, according to the findings of a new study commissioned by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). The recent Global Consumer Awareness Study (GCAS) shows 81% of repliers in the millennial age group expressing mindfullness of coaching compared to 51% in the Greatest Generation.

Millennials were also the generation most admitting (47%) that they had engaged with a coach, compared to only 15% of the Greatest Generation repliers. Overall, 73% of repliers to the ICF GCAS expressed mindfulness of the coaching profession. These data points reflect an upward trend in comparison to ICF’s last similar study released in 2017. That study found mindfulness of coaching at 66% of all repliers.

Mindfulness situations in the rearmost exploration research varied sprucely by labor market positions, with the highest situations among repliers who are presently employed and lowest among repliers who are outside the labor market, including pupils, retirees and stay-at-home parents. The 2022 ICF Global Consumer Awareness Study is a follow-up to the association’s 2010, 2014 and 2017 consumer mindfulness studies.

The study examined adult consumers around the world to ascertain not only mindfulness, but also understanding of professional coaching. From questions concentrated on generational differences, to dissonances in understanding grounded on region, the 2022 ICF GCAS sheds light on the fast-growing $2.85 billion USD worldwide coaching industry. The most recent study was formerly again accepted by PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), which managed each of the previous analyses and constitutes ICF’s largest consumer study to date. Available in 17 languages, the survey yielded 30,727responses from across 30 countries and territories. The minimal age for survey repliers remained 18 to continue learning and support participation from GenZ repliers.

Source: https://coachingfederation.org/blog/consumer-awareness-research-2022


Reaction time

Clients’ online behavior suggests that they are likely to make many inquiries to different coaches for the same coaching theme. This is especially true when the coaching services are expensive.

Clients desire many quotes and to weigh all of their alternatives before making a decision. According to research, the coaches that answers first is more likely to obtain the coachees.

An email inquiry might take up to two days for a coach to answer. This sort of response irritates clients. They will continue to look for and inquire about coaches until they locate one that answers quickly, and this will impact their selection.

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    Contact us

    Visit us anytime

    Cours Saint-Michel 30
    Securex building 2ème étage
    1040 Brussels

    Send us an email



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      Copyright by Coachsea 2020. All rights reserved.

      Copyright by Coachsea 2020. All rights reserved.

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